Tuesday, 16 April 2019

Time to unlearn certain folkways !

Indians, irrespective of their caste, religion, sex or gender, whether rural or urban have a culture of showing respect to elders by addressing every Tom, Dick or Harry as aunty or uncle. If somebody is married and dons a saree, she is an aunty. Then of course, the middle-aged women with kids are aunties. And men, if they look aged or are having kids, they are referred to as uncles. In addition, the plumber, sweeper, shopkeeper, barber, every man in the neighbourhood is either an uncle or a bhaiya (brother) and their counterparts are aunties or didis (sisters). Showing respect is good. But one cannot show respect just like that. I am coming to a more serious issue here.

Generations after generations, we teach our children the same folkways of addressing everyone as aunty, uncle, bhaiya and didi. Nuclear family is a norm these days. Now, in some cases, the children do not even know their consanguineal kins, forget about the affinal kinship relations. They might get confused as to how come everyone is an uncle or a bhaiya. And if they are not confused, it is even worse. They trust them to be well-wishers and their own. It is time, however, to unlearn these folkways.

The NCRB report (2017) says that 95 % rape victims in India are known to the offenders. Internet is full of various reports and studies on Child Sex Abuse where the offenders are mostly either family members or acquaintances. We know where we stand in our education system. There is no sex education. Pornographic films, literature, etc are easily available on internet. There are juvenile delinquents who still need to be potty-trained but are actually out for such heinous crimes. We have the Nirbhaya case, for instance where one of the offenders was a minor. And, children are easy prey.

It will take time to make things good. Education is a must. But, we can do our bit by teaching our children that a plumber is a plumber and not plumber 'uncle', a Professor is a Professor, a Doctor is a doctor and a shopkeeper is a shopkeeper. Likewise, a grocer is a grocer, a sabziwallah (vegetable vendor) is a sabziwallah. I know, it will take time. It will take time for even us to stop saying these nouns. But, trust me, we can do it. After all, what is wrong in saying Dr.----, Mr.---, Mrs----, Miss---- (or simply by adding a 'ji' after the name or surname). People in the West and other parts of the world (except I guess Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal and where majority of Indians reside) do the same thing. This does not make them less cultured. They too respect their elders. It is time we learn from them. The larger society might take time to digest it. But, I believe, this small bit will make some difference. At least, children would know that a stranger is a stranger, an acquaintance an acquaintance and not a family member.

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